You've got the wrong bitxh with this shxt, I think to myself as I calmly fold a blanket and place it nicely on top on my flattest pillow. I know this will be the last time I do anything angrily nicely for you. I don't even know if you ever even saw the blanket and … Continue reading this tower of mine

listen, y'all. i'm tired. i'm tired of the pretense. i'm tired of holding back. i'm tired of hiding. i'm tired of being less. i have all sorts of negative coping mechanisms that flare up out of nowhere, it seems, causing all sorts of weird, vastly uncomfortable symptoms. the worse i am coping, the worse the … Continue reading storm before the calm

i am having a different type of difficulty these days. i'm reminded of it every time i look in the mirror, or brush hair from my face. my hair hasn't been this in my face for a very long time. shaving my head had become a very depended upon coping mechanism. i had reduced, or … Continue reading back away from the edge

*I can't seem to write anything I want to post. Subsequently, I have ten unpublished posts in my drafts folder. Nine were useable. What follows are one paragraph excerpts from each those nine drafts (copy and pasted, unedited).* I'm what people might call "high-fuctioning". I personally don't believe that exists. I believe masking exists. I … Continue reading excerpts from my life

this morning is the second in a row that i've woken up with that brick in my belly again... until, in an instant, i realize Cat and i are here alone. until i realize all the doors are locked, bolted, with the chain drawn again. until i realize the security system is Armed (Stay) again. … Continue reading get out of my swamp

Writing is hard. I don't mean it's difficult to form thoughts and use words to express them. Back in the day, I didn't believe in editing. I wanted my thoughts down and out, as raw and unedited as they could be. So I would word vomit somewhere, and very rarely, would I go back to … Continue reading The process

When I was little, I would wish upon the moon. The stars were for the masses, the moon was for me. I've always felt oddly connected to the moon. I took the term "the man in the moon" literally, and would talk to her like she really were a warm, smiling entity in the sky … Continue reading “the moon ‘n me: a love story” (fiction/snippet)

this might be my second entry composed from a desktop. usually, i'm posting from an app, hunched over having a smoke, or lying under three blankets, or sitting in front of a long forgotten something on the TV, pretending to be scrolling social media. i don't get a lot of alone time these days. it's … Continue reading i had to take a break

I cooked a chicken yesterday. I've never cooked a chicken. Take, for example, the first time I ever cooked a meal. Barely 18, I had just moved in for the first time with my boyfriend at the time. He was at work and I thought I'd cook supper, you know, housewifey shit. So I find … Continue reading Chicken?